Sunday, March 11, 2012

Doing awful

Im doing awful lately and not cause of the CDing but because of my faults. When I lost my job last year things were tight and I had to set up arrangements with my landlord to not pay our utilities until I got a job and he was wonderful enough to understand and accept. I am greatful for that. So since I have been working again I have started to slowly pay him back.

Our car insurance lapsed while I was out if work so it ended up making our payments higher and once we got it reinstated we are now behind about 1800$ and I'm scared we will lose our only car. It sucks being behind. Payments would be just fine if we wernt behind. And I can even pay a big more each time but now the bank has been calling asking when I can pay this full amount or at least 1/2 of it. God I wish I could. I've even tried to apply for a personal loan just to get caught up but since I'm behind like this no one is gonna approve me.

Ive prayed to help me mentally through this time. I'm scared I feel lost hopeless moments I want to check myself into a hospital. It's all my fault too (or do I feel) since I'm the one who lost my job last year who put us in this whole. In going tomorrow to talk to the bank in person. I can't lose my car. It would be even harder for us both to get to work. I pray that they will work with me. I pray that nightly but I still feel this stress.

Please keep me in your thoughts.

3 comments:

  1. Sounds a really difficult situation. I will certainly pray for you.

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  2. Your husband is an addict, no more than that, the more he secumbs to his addiction the worse it will get as you have seen. There is no happy ending for either of you if he carries on with this addiction, he will destroy himself and you and your marriage. He needs help, he needs to acknowledge he is not 'a woman in a mans body' just addicted to the pleasure crossdressing brings him, just like alcahol, smoking, drugs, etc etc etc. He can conquer this ..if.. he first acknowledges he has a problem and is addicted, and second if he gets help, there are many '12 steps' organisations on the net willing to help. Dont accept this, it will destroy you if you do.All addictions that are not dealt with end in great pain. This is an addiction, I know.

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  3. I am a CDW.This August will be 1 year since I have found out!My H Is now 6 months with NO CD,In his life.I agree 100% this Is addiction,and for my Husband he also said for him this was addiction!This will destroy not only YOU,but your whole family!I would not Accept this behavior,therefore my husband decided to do something about It!I love my husband with all of my heart,I will help him In any way that I can,but what I had come to realize was I loved myself more!I could not,nor would I permit for this behavior to continue In my life!And they can overcome CD,my husband Is walking proof!I wish you the very best!

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