Moody Females?

I have been told for the past 3 weeks or so over and over that I have been mean and bitchy and moody with no reason to be.  So when I get replies from him for any kind of convo its "go away I don't want o be around you"  or "your starting to piss me off"  or "the only thing you do lately is irritate me"  At least that's what I hear from him but he says it in a mean tone then I get upset and end up going upstairs and crying for a bit to let out my frustration.

Ok please understand this...

If everyday for the life of your relationship you do not do something for your wife but you sit on your damn ass and say
"I'm hungry what is there to eat"
"I'm thirsty what is there to drink"
"could you make me coffee" (I don't even drink coffee btw)..
"do we have a blanket I'm cold"
"here throw this away for me"  (trash is on the other side of his shelves by his desk where he is sitting.. he could reach around...)
"can you bring me my shoes"
"whats for dinner?.. eww why are we having that i guess ill eat it unless you want to make me something else"

and the list goes on but those are the major ones.. the ones where he should be a BIG BOY and do them himself and not call upon his wife EVERY TIME.. its not once in awhile this is what happens DAILY!

Now that I am working on his days off I am still expected to do this crap and make dinner while he sits on his ass all day on the computer then I get home and he asks "I'm starving whats for dinner.. i didn't feel like getting up and making lunch so I haven't eaten all day"  (YES this has happened it happened last time I was working.. if he doesn't have something "ready to eat"  then he wont get up and make himself ANYTHING)

So my first few days at my new job I came home and my feet were killing me.  The Dr told me in the past I stand on my feet a bit different (put my weight differently) then others cause I am missing a couple bones in a couple toes.. (I know sounds strange to me too lol)  So since I have been out of work for like 4mo my feet were really killing me to the point I was limping and holding back tears cause of the pain.  Yet do you thinking he actually helped me or took care of me or did stuff for me..... .... ... .. Nope.. I was still expected to do everything for him still and the sad part about it was "whats your problem you have only been working for 2 days and you are already in pain and complaining".. yep that's the reply I got.. then in bed "I don't know why you have been so pissy ever since you got this job and even before then you have been pissy to me for weeks now"

OMG I AM TIRED OK.. I am TIRED of having to take care of you like you are a little CHILD..  maybe I WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF... is that to hard to ask of you..for once think of me before yourself cause that's ALL I do with you.. I think of YOU first and put me last.. why do you think my health is so bad.. Dr suggests ."oh you need to have less stress in your life and get some breathing time"  (Yeah ok right... he doesn't know my husband)

Ive always told *J* that I would die before him and really I think I do.. once in awhile I'll pass by a comment like "god just shoot me now with your gun" or something to that matter on me and death.. "don't say that crap" is his reply..

He doesn't know though.. He has no clue nor does anyone else how much pain I have inside.  He doesn't know and no one else (well until now and whoever is reading this)  how many times I have prayed over and over just to die or how often I wished I was dead. and this isn't a joke type comment this is fully.. pain coming from my heart type of wishing.  At least once a week I question God on why I am still alive and how I wish I was dying or dead...  dying would be nice then maybe just MAYBE then *J* would care for me for a short while.  I know it probably sounds sick but he brings me to a point where I feel I am never good enough I am not allowed to feel any feelings unless they are "good happy rainbow and unicorn feelings"

I'm at the point now where I don't have hope anymore.. I have had it for so many years and since him coming out and other things he has done since then I don't have hope anymore.  There is no hope for a marriage with a couple who cant talk like adults about their feelings.. who have to say bad names and hurt the others feelings.. who treats the other like their personal slave at home... now see don't get me wrong I don't mind helping him i love helping him or doing things from him but I don't like how it goes 1 way or it goes OVERBOARD and h takes advantage of it..

I think he said to me once after I found out about his CDing