My day off

Well today was my day off.. Then I go back to work tomorrow and then have Wednesday off.. which I am not looking forward to cause I have a dentist appt in the AM on Wednesday.

Didn't do to much today.  Went up to my parents home to do some laundry since the washers and dryers in this apartment area are crap and it takes more then the required 4 quarters to dry a load.  So I took 2 loads up.  My dad made me breakfast since he said I don't get much done for me.  Which really is true I am always waiting on everyone else hand and foot.  It was good.. Scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and hasbrowns.  

After I finished my laundry I went home then decided to go to the grocery store to get some sausages for dinner to go with the hamburgers.  Got those as well as some desert and lunch meat for the kids for their lunches tomorrow.  When I came home I decided to clean our room from top to bottom and organize it a bit better.  It looks a lot better now and we have some extra space which I made.  I took a bath after then sat and played on my cityville on facebook for awhile until about 3:45 when I needed to go pick up my husband from work.

Picked him up from work and we are at home now.  He had to get socks from upstairs since his toes are still painted with a french tip.  I really wish he would get rid of it and take it off.  Its still so very uncomfortable for me.  He knows this too but I guess he really doesn't care cause if he did care enough it would of been gone since that was not agreed upon he only thought it was ok.

I guess its just something little to fuss about and its nothing major.. there are far worse things in the world.  But I never do ask for much.

I am a bit tired today though so maybe that's why its on my mind more.  Or maybe I just want my husband to feel "normal" to me well as whatever society views as a normal husband.  Just for a bit.. hes been painting his nails for too long now.. there needs to be a break.. As someone said on the forums he didn't even give me any kind of break it has been all about him the CDing then the stuff I found on yahoo..

I know we have been talking and working with things and working things out.. I just cant help to feel deep down inside of me that he has cheated on me since we have been up here.. there is still that time he said he was looking at a gun on Craig's list when he texted me by mistake and said it was about a gun.. when i have a feeling he was meeting someone for well sex or something..idk.. i know I will have to sooner or later let things go and trust him again but its hard cause I'm so hurt.  I don't think he actually knows how much hurt I have inside.  I don't think anyone knows really how much hurt I have inside of me...there is so much emotion I have hid for so many years just to keep others happy.

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

*Sara Bareilles King Of Anythin*