Cheating?

Well I wasn't expecting today to go as bad as it has and its only 9am.  Last night I figured that my husband had been going on his yahoo account which he told me he was not and that he changed the PW on it to something he wouldn't remember since he couldn't figure out how to delete it.  I trusted him...

BIG MISTAKE

I look at his yahoo profile last night and well there was activity on the 11th from him adding this Jason person to it..and oh guess what Jason lives in our town.

So I asked him about it last night his answer

"Yahoo must be acting weird cause I haven't been on it.  Oh yahoo is always causing problems"  yeah yahoo causes problems cause you cant control yourself on it.. just like a gun by itself doesn't shoot ppl it needs a person behind it.

So this morning I decided to log into his messenger  (sorry if some think its snooping and i know hes gonna be pissed too but i must know the truth)  and this Jasons person messages me (well thinking it was my husband) and says...

Jason **: morning

Dark ** *CD*: morning

Jason **: hows it going?

Dark ** *CD*: tired but good and you?

Jason **: same, i dont want to go to work today

Dark ** *CD*: me either

Jason **: well i better get to it, what are you doing on tuesday?

Dark ** *CD*: im not sure yet why?

Jason **: maybe we can get together

Dark ** *CD*: that could be fun

Dark ** *CD*: my days off my change soon

Dark ** *CD*: might*

Jason **: ok well let me know before tuesday, i really need to suck a juicy cock

So yeah I played along a bit to see what he would say.. but OMG how am I suppose to feel.. I don't feel loved by my husband at all and I don't feel cherished..

So I sent him a email cause face to face right now I think I would explode.. but I will bet you a ton of money that he gets pissy at me.. when I wasn't the one trying to cheat

I'm not perfect I will tell you all this.. in the past years ago I cheated on him.. emotionally cheated on him by talking to someone online.. never once was i out for sex or trying to find someone in our town.. but that still doesn't make it right what I did either..

Please pray for me and what I feel like I'm about to go through.